Well, after a long wait, here it is.
Day -10: Offered position of Executive Assistant. I accept eagerly.
Day 1: Attend training, which consists of removing support boards from under the ring, making it less rigid, changing it from "Boxing mode" to "Wrestling mode".
Day 2: They tell me 'road stories' and "back in the day we did..." stories. Sheer insanity. They once chased a student around the parking lot with a U-Haul truck, JUST BECAUSE. Thankfully that was back in the "insanity days" where people were out on...everything. They've all mellowed out now....some days. LOL.
Day 3: Settling in to work, getting comfortable with everyone.
Day 4: "Getting too big for my britches and getting an ego. You might go crazy if you continue." says the boss. He's certainly joking....right?
Day 5: Drove to store to get beer for the upcoming segment in the show. Later that night I steal Primo's car.
Day 6: Sell Primo's car for $300. Purchase booze and coke.
Day 7: Show up to work clearly out of it. Primo cant figure out where his car went. Nick Vickers looks at me suspiciously.
Day 8: Steal Primo's tights. Attempt lucha-libre entrance, land on head.
Day 9: Find school cash box. Take everything. Quickly spent on Booze and coke.
Day 15: Show up to work after a near week-long bender. Vickers is furious because he has been wondering where I went and the show is coming up fast. Primo files a police report for his missing car and tights, thinking someone is pranking him.
Day 18: Sobering up underneath the ring for 3 days. During practice every bodyslam on the mat echoes down below and doesn't help my headache. Ugh.
Day 21: Disappear for another 2 days. Return to work smelling of booze and hookers.
Day 24: Strange itchiness.....
Day 27: The boss finally sits me down and asks me what the hell is going on. I spill the beans as to what happens.
Day 28: Team meeting regarding me. I explain to everyone what happened. Primo hits me repeatedly with a chair. Not mad that I sold his car, he is mad I didnt share the booze, coke and hookers.
Day 29: Setup for the Redemption show. People are pretty pissed at me still.
Day 30: Redemption show. Sold out, at least 450 people.
Day 31: Co-op completed. Primo's car mysteriously shows up in the parking lot covered in graffiti and vomit. Black light reveals mysterious substances. We light it on fire and roll it into the canal.
- The End -
Yes, this is a fake story.
