THIS FIRE BURNS

I believe all people have to what I will refer to as "the internal fire."
The drive to succeed, to win, to be the best, what have you, etc.
Sometimes this goes out in people. Sometimes forever, sometimes temporarily.
I cannot recall recent memory when I last felt mine burn bright. It is still there, embers requiring stoking. I personally feel that it never truly leaves you, but you must bring it to the forefront once again.

The last I felt it was awhile ago. Years long past.
It was in combat. Karate tournament. I do not remember who it was, could have been a Canadian or American, someone I knew, I just don't remember.
All I do remember is that I fought with all I had. That was real combat for me.
The drive to win, to succeed.

The character Gray Fox says:

"Fighting was the only thing... the only thing I was good at. But... at least I always fought for what I believed in"
 "Good! Now we can fight as warriors! Hand to hand! It is the basis of all combat! Only a fool trusts his life to a weapon!"
"Do you remember now... the feel of battle... the clashing of bone and sinew?"

That tournament was an experience for me. After that, I didn't feel like doing anything. I had conquered the mountain, as it were.
Years ago, like I said, but I still feel like this to this day.
However, sometimes it comes back like a raging flood. I will be hit with moments of pure creativity and I find myself soaring ever higher....and then it all comes crashing down like a house of cards.
I was at a wedding back in October, feeling great. Then I was demoted to the CHILDREN'S Table. Down the card-house came. I was so angry, so spiteful, so....blasé.

Then an old friend came back into my life. I was driven to see her, the spark was back....but now the card-house teeters once again, for I see another person climbing my mountain, trying to get to the peak before me.

Even if I require help, I will do my best to succeed. On the other hand...

Sean Connery says:
"Your best? Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."

I might need some help with this one boys and girls.

This fire burns, always.